Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Missing Jim.. "life's an hourglass"....

This song is on my playlist,"Hourglass" (the girl with the red umbrella) and it captures my thoughts about missing the moments of life, and my kids growing up way too fast! and I know we miss the little moments when our loved ones are gone... don't blink it goes by so fast....

When you reach for the stars

Don’t forget who you are
And please don’t turn around and grow up way too fast
See the sand in my grasp
From the first to the last
Every grain becomes a memory of the past
Oh, life’s an hourglass
Life’s an hourglass

It was a sweet time. So many gathered for our dear friend's Celebration of Life on November 22, 2010 at the Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton CA. You can read his story here at Caring Bridge (Jim Mohler) where I think 79,000 visits have been made, see the service here at Memorial Webcasts (singing is unmixed) and the written program is here.

I was so amazed how strange it felt to be celebrating and mourning at the same time. I felt guilty enjoying his memories, without him being there with us. Laughing at his absurd jokes, talking about the way his ministry effected others because it was always relational first, even doing magic tricks and eating candy. Emily got up and explained the song(here it is below, pause my music on the side before you play it) that she and Alex had written a few weeks before he died. It was all I could do to not lose it. I kept looking at the amazing pipes of the pipe organ so I would have it all together before I got up to talk and sing.

I think of Miriam, Emily and Clayton every day, lift them up in prayer. Praying for them to make it through the day with hope and peace. That each day is a little easier. They know they'll be with him one day, it's the days here that can be hard. We've talked about them spending some time at Christmas with us here, I am so looking forward to that. Praying they can come, hoping we can make some more sweet memories here.

Give them rest Lord, comfort, a plan for tomorrow, hope for the future, security in You and JOY in the new journey they're on.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Drawing Close when I want to Run Away

I miss the simple days

There are those days. Today was one. I wanted to run away, go into the next room, find something else to do, when one of my kids was making the wrong choice. Choosing to disobey. Choosing to argue with me, with a sibling, to not do the work we were doing, to find anything to be contrary about. I was so ready to check out!! Instead of choosing JOY, I found myself choosing a louder decibel to express myself! Maybe if they heard me better, they'd make a better choice. Ha. That never works. Not only that, it makes the other kids do the same thing.(the ol' thermostat/thermometer trick. Funny how I seem to set the temperature for whatever I want it to be!) Then we have 5 people hollering. Instead of PRAYING about what to say next, I felt myself getting angry and trying to figure out what I had done to deserve this. Any of this sound familiar? I am modeling the exact opposite of what I'm trying to teach my kids. The fruits of the spirit in Galations 5:22.
Love, Joy , Peace, Patience, Kindness, Self-control, Gentleness (the fruit I used to think I'd left on the tree to rot) Faithfulness and Goodness.

Time to draw near. My LIFE verse for home schooling. I have to put myself in time-out, get my 'mama's praying' apron out. Susannah Wesley, mother to 19, used to put her apron over her head and her children knew not to disturb her when she was praying! Her motto in raising her children was "strength guided by kindness". Imagine in schooling her children at home, that she had time for each of them individually. Auntie Otto made us aprons that actually say "Mama's Praying" underneath so when you flip it up, the kids see it!

I put on my Jane Austen music.

Read my verse and ask God's forgiveness and guidance. And then ask for my children's too.

My verse is Philippians 4:4-5 "Rejoice in the Lord always! Let me say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near!" And you know what follows. Be anxious for nothing and the rest of the verse about making your requests to God with thanksgiving! Well, how perfect that speaks to me each and every day about teaching and training my children with gentleness, knowing that He is right beside me through my day and that He will hear my prayers and petitions.

And finally, my favorite edifying blog. A Holy Experience. Ann Voskamp had posted a parenting manifesto of joy which is now posted in my kitchen where I can be reminded! Which is printable by the way. So please go there to read and print it. My favorite is #7 "Today when I am most repelled by my child's behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child." Oh yes.

And here's another edifying place for you to read about joy. Another favorite author of mine for many years is Sally Clarkson. Oh to sit and have tea with her is on my bucket list. To pick her brain, to talk about favorite books, to meet her kids, so many things. I hope to go to her conference in the spring. But take a gander to I TAKE JOY. She wrote about 'what you practice, you will become'.

Very much like my thermostat/thermometer idea that I am setting the tone in my home for my kids. What we are talking about, reading, watching and listening to, that is what will form our thoughts and dreams.

Let's go back to Philippians 4:8, whatever is noble,pure, upright, of good repute, if anything is praiseworthy or admirable, let's think about those things!